Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
