I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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