It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
