I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
