I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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