Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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