Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
