I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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