I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
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