Umm I'm too high to move.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
