How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
