Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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