yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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