So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
