Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
