Already got asked if we're dating
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
