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week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
In America we eat man semen.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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