she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
