Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
