Your mouth is God's brothel.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
