so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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