Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I understand Curling. That high.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
