In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
