i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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