bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
