Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
