Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
