Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
