You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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