She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
