So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
