and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He shit in the fireplace
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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