He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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