What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
pop tarts are not kleenex
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
