ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
No...this little piggys going to the bar
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
