Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
