im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
