This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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