And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
