May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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