kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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