guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
