Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
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