I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
