ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
