you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
