Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
