if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
