If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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