She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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