Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
