He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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