i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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