Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
